


A Harmless Fantasy

by MrsDvlDg



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsDvlDg/pseuds/MrsDvlDg
Summary: A series of very short tales in which I break the fourth wall and interact with three of the guys: my two favorites and my sister's favorite.  I'm open to writing about the other four if I'm ever inspired properly.





	1. Vin Tanner

**Author's Note:**

> I started with my absolute favorite, although I don't think he was too happy about it.

Something About a Man in Buckskins...

                Vin woke up as cool air passed over his naked body.  He made a startled sound and thrashed around on silky sheets until it dawned on him that his hands and feet were tied to a bed.  The last thing he remembered was being in the Saloon with Chris.

                “What…” he started to say.

                “Aw…  You’re awake,” I said as I smiled at my captive.

                “Who’re ya?  And why d’ya have me tied to this bed?” Vin asked, very perturbed.

                “Oh, I’m just a fan fiction writer indulging in a harmless little fantasy.”

                “Fantasy?!”

                “Yeah.  Ever since I saw that first episode as a teenage girl, I’ve wanted you tied naked to a bed.  And now, I have you.”

                “But I don’ wanna be here.”

                “And why not?”

                “I’m naked!”

                “Oh, Vin, are you cold?  I could write in a toasty fire…  But that would probably make me too warm and I’d have to start removing layers…”  I grin wickedly as I started to pull off my sweatshirt.

                “No, no, no!” Vin shouted, closing his eyes.  “Why’d ya have to tie me up?!”

                I finished pulling of my sweatshirt, laughing as I still had on a tshirt.  Layering is fun.

                “Very well.  You can be untied.  It’s not like I’m going to write in that you run away.”

                Vin’s bonds disappeared.  He instantly tried to cover himself to maintain his modesty.

                “Now, come on, Vin.  You should be grateful.  I pulled you out of a story where you were passed out from drinking too much.  I’m trying to save you from a hangover.  The least you could do is allow me a little eye candy.”

                “Eye candy?” Vin looked completely confused.

                “Yeah.  It’s a term used to describe a very attractive person that you just want to stare at.  Nothing more.”

                “So ya’ve got me here, naked, and you’re not going to try an’thin’?  I’m so confused,” Vin sat down on the bed and rested his head in his hands.

                “Well, as you can see, I’m not a teenage girl anymore.  And I didn’t discover the ability to write fan fiction until after I got married.  So, as a married woman, eye candy is the most I will allow myself, even just as fantasy.”

                “M’ head hurts.  I jus’ wanna go home.”  Vin looked pleadingly at me.

                I sighed.  “Very well.  I’ll send you back.  Just close your eyes.”

 

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

 

                Vin woke up, his head pounding viciously.  The dim light of the dawn sky seared his eyes.  He lifted his head slowly to look around.  He really had passed out in the saloon.  From all appearances, he had tried to drink Chris under the table.  Groaning, he laid his head back down.

                “I’m ne’er gonna try that again.  That dream was too odd!”


	2. Ezra Standish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With all those layers, how could Ezra lose at strip poker? Easily if the author has an ulterior motive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else just want that table cloth to fall off?

Ezra looked around in shock. His clothes were scattered around him, as if they had been pulled off one by one and then tossed to the side. Add to that, he was sitting cross-legged on the ground! A giggle brought his attention to the woman sitting cross-legged across from him.

“Well, you seem to be down to your long-underwear and a sock.” The woman grinned, as she shuffled a deck of cards. She was missing a sock and two shoes. “What are you betting this time?”

“Betting?” he asked, very confused.

“Yes. Betting.”

“I'm sorry. I don't understand. I have no money on me currently.”

“Ezra! We're playing strip poker! And you are losing terribly! Which, of course, is by my design. You can either choose your article of clothing or I will.” The woman smiled, broadly. “My choice would be your underwear.”

Ezra blinked rapidly. “My underwear?”

“Wonderful choice. I will bet my other sock.”

Ezra continued to gape as the woman dealt out the cards.

“Oh. I guess I could 'remind' you that we are playing a variation of 5 card draw. No betting outside of the initial piece of clothing.”

Ezra looked at his cards. “I'll take two,” he said, pulling out the cards that didn't match.

The woman grinned. “I'll take three.”

Ezra felt better. The woman obviously had a poorer hand, which meant he'd keep his underwear and she would lose her sock.

“Let's see your hand,” she said, laying her cards down.

Ezra blanched. His nice queen three of a kind lost to a 6 high straight.

“How?” he asked. He grabbed at the woman's arms to check for any mechanism that would allow her to cheat.

“Ezra? As much as I enjoy being pawed at, I am a married woman. You're here for eye candy purposes only. And you have lost so lose the underwear.”

“Eye candy? And how did I lose?”

“I'm the writer so I don't have to cheat. I just write in a better hand for myself. Now, are you going to pay your bet or do I write that I have to make you pay it?”

Ezra growled in imitation of Chris and removed the long underwear.

“I am humiliated. I'm sitting here, losing at poker with one sock on!”

“At least you're not tied to the bed...” the woman mumbled.

“What?!”

“Oops. Didn't think I said that out loud. Hmm.... Eye candy...” She wiped her chin as if she was getting rid of drool. “I guess I'll have you win some more rounds now so I can enjoy the view.”

“Absolutely not! We will finish this atrocity of a game! I don't know who you are, but this is the worst...”

“The worst? Oh no, dear Ezra. This might be humiliating for you but is by no means the worst. We fan fiction writers have tortured you in so many ways that this is going easy on you. You've been shot, stabbed, trampled, drowned... Oh the ways we remove that hard outer shell to show the soft, gooey hero underneath.”

Ezra lowered his head. When he lifted it back up, his eyes were resigned. “Send me back! Anything is better than losing at poker!”

“Fine,” she sighed. “But I'd be careful saying that anything is better than losing at poker. Another writer may actually make you play for your life... Or someone else's.”

 

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

 

Ezra slowly blinked his eyes open. Six concerned men stood around his bed in Nathan's clinic. His last thought before drifting off in a healing sleep was that these fan fiction writers really should have something better to do than play poker.

 


	3. Chris Larabee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Broody man in black gets PO'd with writer but ends up having an enjoyable experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly my sister was only nice because she didn't want Chris getting saddle burned or horse hair stuck in unmentionable places.

                Chris stopped brushing his horse, suddenly realizing that he was ONLY wearing his cowboy boots.  Even with as warm as the day was, it made to no sense to be currying Pony almost as naked as the day he was born.  He looked toward the porch of his shack when he heard a giggle.  There stood a brown-haired woman wearing the strangest clothes.

                “What the hell are you doing here?  Who are you?” Chris growled as the woman’s eyes twinkled. 

                “Just indulging in a bit of fantasy…”

                “You’re the woman who tied Vin to a bed and made Ezra lose all his clothes playing poker.”

                He glared at intruder who had already made two of his men think that they were losing their minds.

                “Yup.  Proud of it too.  A little surprised they told you.”

                “So I’m your next obsession, huh?  Should I call you Ella?”

                The woman held up her hands.

                “Nope.  This one isn’t for me.  No offense, but you’re entirely too broody for my tastes.  Besides, you didn’t notice that the horse is between me and the ‘eye candy.’”

                “Then who is this for?” Chris asked as he saw that Pony was indeed between him and the strange woman.

                The woman pointed at the barn.  A blond haired woman sat on a pretty bay horse, looking at the scene unfolding.  Chris looked back confused.

                “You’re my sister’s favorite of the Seven.  She also loves horses.  I’m not sending you back to the story I pulled you out of.  You’re going on a trail ride with Nicole.  Whether you get to wear clothes will be entirely up to her.”  The woman laughed, outright laughed, at the glare sent her way.  “Have fun!”

                Chris looked back over to the barn.  What on earth had he ever done to deserve being tormented by fan fiction writers and their sisters?  Well, the sister may not be so bad, Chris thought, as his pants magically appeared on his body.

                He swung up on Pony, thankful that his horse was saddled, even if he didn’t remember doing it.  Pony was a reliable horse but occasionally these writers made this faithful horse act up.  As he and the woman called Nicole headed off, her horse calmly walked beside Pony.  Still, it was disconcerting to be riding with a woman wearing the strangest shirt and pants.   After a few minutes, a smile crossed the usually somber Chris’s face.  Nicole was telling some pretty crazy stories about how obnoxious her sister could be.  He burst out laughing as she told him about getting kissed on the nose in the middle of the night.  It sounded to him like Vin and Ezra were lucky after all.  There could have been attacks of random physical affection!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is that last of the three I originally wrote. I've had a request for a Buck story that breaks the fourth wall. I really would like to break the wall with all seven so if you have an idea for JD, Nathan, or Josiah, drop me a line and give me a prompt/idea/whatever.


	4. Buck Wilmington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck has been a bad boy and has to relearn a lesson: don't destroy someone else's property.
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains spanking (mostly nonsexual, but if your mind goes there, *grin*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter how old he is, a man always remembers "that tone" from his mother.

Buck stretched, easing his tight muscles as he woke up. Smooth sheets caressed his naked skin. Suddenly his eyes flew open. How the hell did he get into a bed with smooth sheets? He had bedded down at Chris’s “shack” since he had offered to help Chris fix the corral. He looked around and reached for any sort of weapon. He was not at Chris’s place! After a thorough search of the room, all he could find were the sheets on the bed. Not bothering to check the door or look out the window, Buck proceeded to start ripping the sheets and twisting them to form a long rope.

“Buck Wilmington! You ripped my sheets!”

Buck jumped. There was no mistaking the tone of the voice. He had heard it often from his mother growing up, and it was always accompanied by having his rear end tanned good. He spun around to see a woman standing before him wearing pants that looked to be made out of some sort of canvas, and a cotton shirt with no buttons anywhere. How did she put it on?

“My eyes are up here,” came a dry comment that pulled his attention away from her shirt. Brown eyes flashed with temper and possibly amusement? “Did you even look out the window or try the door? It’s not like I tied you to the bed.”

Buck swallowed hard. “No, ma’am…”

“You’re still fully dressed, unlike a certain gambler…”

Buck’s eyes widened. “You’re her!”

“Yes. I am, and you are in big trouble. But, it is what Millie wanted so, in a way, you were out of luck from the beginning.”

“Millie? Sounds like a pretty woman.” Buck grinned.

The woman shook her head. “Buck, I know you well enough to know that you think all women are pretty. You ripped my perfectly good sheets so it’s time for you to strip out of your pants.”

Buck’s eyes widened. “Strip?”

“Yes. I’m sure your mother taught you not to damage someone else’s property, and since the lesson didn’t seem to stick, I’ll apply the reapplication of the lesson to your posterior.”

“What!?”

“I’m going to spank you just like any mother from your time would for damaging my sheets.” She folded her arms and glared at him.

Buck whimpered. That glare said angry mother, and an angry mother meant a burning butt. A slow blink and raised eyebrows told him to get a move on if he didn’t want to make it worse. Mothers. They never changed. Blushing deeper than he’d thought possible, Buck dropped his drawers, leaving him naked from the waist down.

“Hands on the bed frame since you’re entirely too big to fit across my knees.”

Buck looked up into eyes of the thoroughly angry mother and rested his hands on the foot of the bed. His own mother would have done the same thing. He took a breath to steady himself but it was useless as the woman applied her hand to the most sensitive area of his butt cheeks. He yelped before he could stop himself.

“It’s for your own good, Mr. Wilmington.”

She continued spanking him until his butt glowed red. She stood back and admired her handiwork.

“Have you finally learned your lesson?” she asked.

“Yes,” he whimpered. “I’ll never rip a sheet again.”

“Well, that might be taking it a bit too far. I’ll give you permission to rip sheets only if you’ve been told to. Mr. Jackson may need help making bandages sometime and I’d hate to hamper his efforts, considering what we like to put you boys through.”

Buck looked up in sheer terror. “What do you mean ‘we’?”

“I’m not the only one who writes stories about you boys. And there are many more out there that simply read what we write. Now, I think it’s time to send you back. Hopefully, Millie has had plenty of time to enjoy you with your pants around your ankles and your butt flaming red from your spanking.”

  
  


7*7*7*7*7*7*7

  
  


Buck woke up in his bedroll on the floor of Chris’s shack. He felt a twinge in his backside that had him rolling onto his knees to get up.

“Come on, Big Dog! We gotta ride. Corral will have to wait.”

At Chris’s call, Buck ran outside and climbed onto his horse, already saddled for him. His rear hit the seat, and he hissed in pain. Vin, sitting on his horse waiting on Chris and Buck, raised an eyebrow.

“What’s the matter, Bucklin?”

Buck blushed. “Between that author and a woman named Millie, I got my rear end tanned like a kid.”

Chris and Vin laughed. Buck thought that was very heartless of them. They knew what he’d been through.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very open to ideas for JD, Josiah, and Nathan. This one was fun to write because it took me out of my comfort zone.


	5. JD Dunne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And he can swim!" Maybe not by choice, but that's half the fun.

JD looked around in shock. How in the world did he get here? Where was here? He had never seen a building like this: round, stinky, and humid. As he shifted around, his seat slightly bounced. He grabbed the end of a railing. Cool metal took him by surprise, as did the laughter coming from behind him.

“Leave it to you to not notice how you're dressed” came a voice from behind him.

JD looked up and turned beet red There stood a woman wearing nothing but... It almost looked like a corset without strings. Her legs were bare along with her shoulders.

“Hmm... Looks like it's a good thing I prefer one pieces over bikinis. I guess I've stunned you into silence. That's unusual. JD, take a breath!”

As his breath left in an audible whoosh, JD leaned against the railing he'd grabbed earlier. It was still cool, and he could feel it all the way down his torso. He finally looked down to see nothing but a towel around his waist. He tried to scramble up to his feet, only to have the platform he was sitting on bounce again, very mildly. Holding the railing in a death grip, he slowly stood up. The knot on the towel loosened, but he didn't dare let go to fix it.

“Where am I?” he wailed.

“Well, this is my memory of my childhood public swimming pool. Only it's not open at this point in time. We're the only ones here. I figure the Darlin's wouldn't be happy with me if I got you arrested for indecent exposure.”

“Arrested? Indecent exposure?”

“Yeah. Even now, you can be arrested for being naked in public.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Some places would even require you to register as a sex offender if convicted. So while we're at a public pool, there's no one else around. You're not at risk for that which means they can just enjoy this.”

“They?” JD looked around.

“Your fans. Also known as Darlin's. It's their turn for a little eye candy.”

Eye candy. Those words rang a bell in JD's head. He went from beet red to ghost white.

“You?” he whispered.

“They shared with you too?” she smirked.

“It was kinda hard to miss Buck's discomfort in the saddle. When Chris and Vin teased him, Buck shared the whole story to shut them up. I don't think Ezra was pleased with being pulled into Buck's revenge. Buck hasn't had a decent poker hand since.”  JD's nervousness had him rambling again

 

“Chris didn't kill Buck telling his story? Hmm, maybe he enjoyed that trail ride more than I thought. Well, time to get on with this.”

She started walking toward JD. He backed away, discovering that the railing ended and the bouncing got worse.

“What is this thing?”

“Well, it's called a diving board. You can also just jump off of it into really deep water.”

“How deep?”

“Ten feet. You can swim, right?” She grinned. “Buck said you could.”

“Yeah, I can, but doesn't mean I want to go into ten feet of water.”

“Well, you have no choice. I'm the author. Now let's just remove that towel and then get you wet.”

She started walking toward him so JD started backing up. The railing stopped but the bouncing got worse. He tried to move slowly but that woman just kept coming. How did she keep her balance with the movement under their feet? Suddenly she made a grab for the towel. With a yelp, JD dodged her grab. It didn't do any good as the loosened knot came apart completely, and the towel fell off. He tried to grab for it but the bouncing of the diving board caused him to overbalance and take a not very graceful dive into the water. He managed to grab a breath of air before hitting the water in a partial belly flop. Fighting his way to the surface, he discovered that he wasn't the only one to fall of the board. The woman broke the surface shortly after he did, sputtering.

“You just had to flail. Now I'm wet too. Oh well.”

JD realized that the awful smell was stronger now that he was in the water.

“What is that smell?”

“Pools have chlorinated water. It helps to protect swimmers against diseases. Sometimes it's stronger than others. Since we're in my childhood pool, the smell is as strong as I remember it.”

“Well, it stinks," JD pouted.

“There's a ladder over there if you really want out. I'm going to float for a bit since I'm in the water anyway.”

She laid out on her back and just floated on the water, eyes shut. She almost looked as if she was asleep. JD swam over to the ladder she had pointed out and climbed out of the water. He stood there, naked and dripping, realizing he'd left the soaked towel in the pool. There were no other towels in sight either. He stood there, waiting as minutes ticked slowly by.

“Um... What am I still doing here? You're not looking and I'm cold.”

“Well, you could have stayed in the water. This is a heated pool. I just thought I'd give the Darlin's some time to enjoy the view.”

Not moving from her back, the woman pulled herself through the water to the ladder. She held onto it as she looked at his once again red face.

“I supposed I can send you back. I'd recommend taking a bath. Otherwise the rest will wonder what you got into.” She smiled and pushed back into the water.

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

JD woke up sitting in the chair in his rented room. Water dripped onto his shirt from his soaked hair. He could still smell that “pool water" odor. Grabbing his bathing supplies, he headed toward the bathhouse. Just his luck, Nathan was outside the door.

“JD? What's that smell? What did you get into? You're soaked.”

“I went swimming, Nathan.” _Please don't let him ask more questions._

“Where? That water doesn't smell right. Don't want anyone drinking it.”

“Don't worry Nathan. It's nowhere near here. I don't even know where it was.”

Nathan frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Remember Buck's stories? She got me too. All for some Darlin's, whoever they are.”

With that, JD stomped into the bathhouse to rid himself of the smell and maybe start forgetting that weird experience.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently rewatched the first episode which sprouted this story for JD. I'm determined to finish all seven for a complete set. I feel I have the hardest two left: Josiah and Nathan. Maybe an idea will hit me, but I'm not above shameless begging either. All of us deserve a little eye candy.


End file.
